The Khetu Times caught up with Mr. Badal Panidar, official spokesperson for Lord Indra's rain ministry yesterday when he had come down to earth on an official visit. Here is an exclusive interview with Mr. Panidar who has attempted to explain the sudden changes in weather pattern in India.
KT (Khetu Times): Good evening sir, thank you for taking out the time.
BP (Badal Panidar): Not at all, the pleasure is mine.
KT: Sir, I'd like to get straight to the point, there is a lot of talk of unseasonal thundershowers in the month of November in many parts of India. Many people are asking questions. How do you explain it, sir?
BP: This is just temporary. It will be rectified soon.
KT: I'm sure you are doing all you can to rectify it sir, but can you please tell us why it happened in the first place?
BP: You've got to understand one thing. There has been a major cabinet reshuffle and we've appointed a lot of new Rain Gods in our cabinet this year. Since this is their first time, they are bound to get excited and trigger-happy.
KT: What was the need for a cabinet reshuffle?
BP: As we all are aware of how dry 2009 was, we thought it was necessary to make some drastic changes in our cabinet. After all, we were continuously pestered... er... I mean... requested by people's prayers for a better monsoon for 2010. The old lot of Rain Gods that we had were quite intimidated with the unending prayers which stretched beyond their working hours. In fact, after these prayers started getting escalated to Lord Indra, the chief God of Rain, he decided enough is enough and started appointing new Gods.
KT: The Charter of weather Gods created on 4500 B.C. clearly mentions that the jurisdiction of Rain Gods in India should only be for the 4 months of June - September. You need special permission from the winter ministry in order to be allowed to rain in November. Isn't this a clear case of negligence from the ministry to allow it to happen?
BP: You can check it with them whether or not this is a case of negligence from their side. As far as we are concerned, we've got all the necessary clearances so far. We are only offloading the excess water accumulated during 2009 in these months.
KT: We spoke with the spokesperson of the winter ministry Mr. Barfesh Thandon last week. He said that they've only sanctioned 10^30 gallons of water for the whole of November while you have already exceeded 5x10^30 gallons. The thundershowers are so severe, one could almost mistake this time as the monsoon season.
BP: These allegations are baseless, and as I've said, we've got all the necessary clearances.
KT: What about the common man, sir? How is he supposed to cope with sudden rains. You cannot expect people to carry umbrellas all year long or not have weddings in open venues during wedding season?
BP: We are not that worried about the inconveniences of the common man. In fact, inspite of the mayhem and filth the monsoon creates, people still romanticize it in their tweets and facebook posts. It makes us believe that they are pretty happy with the rain.
KT: One last question, sir. What kind of monsoon can we expect in 2011?
BP: Why are you 'expecting' monsoon in 2011? Monsoon for 2011 has already started.
KT: Haha, thank you for your time.
BP: Pleasure is mine.
