Friday, April 30, 2010

More sleaze in IPL4

After the scandalous IPL 3, where a lot of skeletons tumbled out of the closet resulting into thorough enquiries and the suspension of Lalit Modi, stay tuned for IPL4 whose commercial crassness is slated to increase even more.

Chirayu Amin - The newly appointed head of IPL has guaranteed more sleaze in the next edition. Speaking exclusively to Khetu Times, he started off with a couple of cliches about how cricket is a religion in India, but later he candidly admitted, "In the end, our IPL team are all a shallow bunch of people. We cannot digest our food until a we do a couple of shady deals and add nauseatingly high amounts of unnecessary glamour in the game".

Sources tell us that the amount of advertisements too will increase in IPL4. The current edition had introduced advertisements within an over between deliveries and two compulsory 'strategic timeouts' during play so that more commercials could be crammed in. Next year, there will be commercial breaks during a delivery - between the time the ball is released by the bowler till it reaches the batsman, a commercial will be slipped in.

There is speculation that more slower bowlers were used in IPL3 in preparation for what is to come in IPL4. The slower the pace of the delivery, the more time is available for advertisements. Even express fast bowlers practiced by using a lot of slower deliveries this time around.

A large number of companies have lined up to sponsor dot balls, run outs, player injuries and on-field confrontations between players. In addition, penalising captains for slow over-rates will be scrapped in the next edition. There is rife speculation that captains will be paid Rs. 1,00,000 for every extra minute they take in making field placements. The money made through commercials that will be crammed in during those extra minutes will more than compensate for the money lost per minute on the 'indecisive' captain.

Also, the fees for post match IPL parties have increased from Rs. 40,000 to Rs. 80,000. A BCCI spokesperson refusing to be named said "Loser-type people who will pay 40,000 bucks to get a few minutes of time to spend with tired players who are not even in the mood will definitely pay Rs. 80,000. Heck, these self-loathing morons will give half their lives to party with the celebrities."

In short, IPL4 promises to be rivettingly sleazy. Expect more crassness and more skeletons tumbling out of people's closets next year.

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